Overload

*there was a pic here that got removed*
So I got dwarf hamsters! Here's Tuca with Twilight Sparkle. He was so tiny, but he grew these last few weeks :3 I've got two more, Hiroshima and Black-Widow, but they were too hyper to get them out and take photos of them. They're bigger, but BW is friggin nuts, she bites the other two like crazy and is said to have already nom-nom-ed on another... I've put her in a shoe box for a few days and now she's behaving better ^^

I got really happy that my friend thought to give them to me, since he got a cat (another chick magnet, as I may quote him) cause these lil' noisy creatures bought a sunshine in my house/room. Everything was so gloomy and somehow everybody became a tad happier, a bit more optimistic.

So that was the monthly rant, hope you all are doing well!

Ups and Downs

Even though the beginning of the year has been kind of rough, things are looking up slowly. Starting with March, with the temperature raising, stuff looked a bit brighter, and so it continued. Went back to some lovely habits.

Also, I love when the people you expect less to do something nice to you they do. It's such a pleasant surprise :3 But at the same time, I've learned again that you shouldn't have any expectation from people in spite of... anything actually.

Also, it was my birthday. I must say that this year it was the funniest birthday ever. In the first place, I think people wished me happy birthday for over 5 days xD That amused me terribly. Also, I ate about 4 different cakes. I don't think I'm touching cake anytime soon, unless I really like  the idea of having diabetes of course. I've celebrated my birthday two days in a row, with different friends. It kinda saddens me that I can't mix them all up, but that's how it is.

The only down part of this whole event was that the one person who I was expecting to say something to me on my birthday ignored my existence like never before. I'm kind of glad he did that though, showed me what kind of person he really was. It saddens me, since we used to be close, but things change, that I know.

But all in all, it was freaking awesome. I cannot put in words how good it has done to me, these past few days. I have great friends, I am so glad I've met them, and they are just awesome. I love them to bits. <3

Also, it amuses me how some good stuff come in bulk sometimes, like there are days full of awesome for a whole week or even month, but then it slowly starts to deteriorate and it gets worse and worse but then something good happens again and triggers the whole cycle yet again. I'm glad for what I have in my life now, all that I wish for now is to pass my exams with flying colors and get into college like a boss xD

Have a happy spring everyone! :D I might update with some photos soon ^^

So far, the only reason I'm looking forward to Prom

This is the only reason I'm going to Prom. So far at least. I was kind of unexcited about the whole prom thing until they've told me this is involved. I've wanted to test a chocolate fountain ever since I've learned such a concept existed. 

I don't even have an outfit yet, and I can foresee a very stressful shopping period coming ahead. And I'm always so pretentious about the clothes I buy even if I don't have a high budget allocated for it. But that is the least of my issues right now, haha. Also, I'm not hating on Prom or anything, it's just that I see it as a formal event you have to attend at the end of your high-school. And when have formal events ever been overly fun? :P

I guess I'm thinking that I can't be fully myself with my classmates while all the teachers are supervising us, even if we graduated. And though I'm a big fan of big parties (there will be about 300 kids there, plus staff), I don't know if all these people are really the kind I want to spend a whole night with. Of course, my group of friends will be present there, but I still am having second thought. Oh well, it's better to have low expectations and to be pleasantly surprise than the other way around

I just love this scene, he's so funny and extrovert and an amazing actor. One of the few TV-shows that constantly made me cry. That, or I'm over-emotional suddenly. Nevertheless, David Tennant is a wonderful actor and Billie Piper as well (I've seen her before in "Secret Diary of a Call Girl")

 

I've almost forgotten about this wonderful song, but it goes so well with the Doctor's and Rose's relationship in Doctor Who, and it's just heartbreaking the fact they had to separate for the world's well-being. 

This show gives me hope for humanity overall, it's heartwarming to see that people (even if they are fictional) can harbor such selfless intention and feelings.

February, you've been here enough

I just wish spring would come faster. I can't stand the cold anymore, I can't walk properly with all this snow and ice on the ground, the weather is getting me down big time. I really like walking, but on a flat, stable surface. This time of the year makes me so tired and in mood of just slacking.

I am currently watching Doctor Who. If it were for me, I wouldn't get out of the house until I've seen all the season, but we're talking about almost 800 episodes then. :P I still have to study and go to school (and eventually have a life). I want to finish reading "Othello", then finish "My name is Red" by Orhan Pamuk. The latter is an interesting mystery/detective like novel, written in one of the most fascinating styles ever, multiple point of views. And when I say that, I don't mean two or three, I'm talking about 10 or more. You have to read it carefully to actually comprehend it.

I hope I will have enough money soon to buy myself a new laptop (omg, I cannot wait for the moment when I can play Portal, Skyrim, Assassin's Creed, Bioshock and all the other games I've missed out and only tried them at friends' houses and to be able to surf the internet at a faster speed so I spend less time on the internet and more on better things). Other than that, I really wanna try out Romwe.com, and order a nice cardigan I've seen there. Also, I finally want to purchase the other books from the "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" Series by Adam Douglas, as well as the Hunger Games and many more.

After almost 2 years of searching, I've gotten my hands on Orson Scott Card's "Ender's Game". A fellow colleague of mine had it on his PC for a while now. I've just never talked to him about it. Oh, the irony of life.

Speaking about colleagues, I've been observing some of my introvert classmates. One of them had some problems with depression (though I still think he's having problems) and has been slacking a lot and not giving a shit about school for a while (Off-topic: but Jesus, I think there's a baby crying upstairs, since when do the neighbours have toddlers?). Today I've seen him just laying his head on his desk, trying to sleep during Maths. He hasn't been making head or tail of it for a while now, and I'm honestly concerned about his passing the exam. So I tried to have him on the carpet, but he got really defensive. I must admit, we had our differences in the past, and I might have a rough way of stating facts and questions, but even so, I think I'm the one that gives the most shit about him out of the classroom. Also, everyone needs someone to check up on them and bring them back to reality, even though that might hurt. I should know that better.

I'm still hoping for better days. Or at least warmer ones :)

It does get better, but not just right now

Hello, fellow few readers. I am deeply sorry that I haven't been writing here for a while. I edited this post after a few months because I felt it was indeed too personal. I'll just let a few paragraphs remain for reasons.

That one day that I did go to school these past weeks was horrible from the start. The freezing weather outside, the useless subjects I had that day, the project that was half-assed, the mood from home, my sore tooth, everything. When I got in class I swear I never felt so far-away from anyone. I felt out of place. I just wanted to go back home, to go back to my things, to find a solution or something.

That day passed. I got an A on my project. Fortunately, it was a team project, so the other two teammates of mine did a great job and with what else I could have helped them then, it didn't turn out that bad. Also the teacher was in a good mood, and since we were the first ones to present it, she gave us credit for breaking the ice.

The next day, after a few hours the problem got solved, and the house was cozy again. Suddenly everything seemed brighter. I must tell you now that things weren't all that bad as of right then. A friend lent me her laptop for however long I needed it since she had a spare one. I got a project proposal that seems very promising. Winter is ending soon enough, so the bills will subside.

Things might not look so bright as of now, but they do get better. Trust in that. Look for the little signs. Some random text messages that I got those days were the things that kept me going. The books I was reading as well. The kindness of your friends and their readiness to help you when you're down. Cherish that. Not many have that. Keep an ear out for that one song on the radio that will make your day. Go outside and smile. Try and forget about your problems for an hour or two.

This too shall pass.

But not quite now.

Have a little patience.

It does get better.

Scumbag

I seriously can't get my head around the fact that you have friends, friends that actually have an honest good opinion of you. You, who are the meanest, the worst kind of person I might have ever met. Always with hidden intentions, wanting all for yourself, not caring if in the process you hurt people or no. Using people daily as tools, thinking you're the best that anyone could ask for.

I truly wonder if these so called friends of yours are either so blinded by everything you do, or are as corrupt as you are. Or they just don't care that much after all about you, and chose to ignore all your awful shit. Either way, I cannot look at them the same way either.

Don't you dare come after me ever again with the puppy face or ever ask me how you wronged me or apologize. Because I know all of it is just a nasty act to get what you want.

Find someone else to put up with your shit. Consider me dead.

I found out~

This is such a lovely song by them. Their songs always have helped me out in life when it got tough and it makes me feel as if there's some kind of spiritual connection between the band and their fans. Even their covers are amazing and fit their style (Long Distance Call, for example and not only, Sunday, Bloody Sunday too) Also, Hayley is such a nice person (she even has a Tumblr account so she can connect with fans easier!)

On another note, I keep on having weird dreams that are so fucked up, so messed up that I can't even understand what is going on in my head. Either people from my past come up in them, which I haven't seen in many months to years even and they say these strange things that stir me up so badly, or the same recurring people which I see on a daily basis. And I try to stay away from any possible drama, I'm trying to study more and more for my upcoming exams and nothing is helping me to do so. My family is acting hectic as usual, there's no peace and quiet in the house, at school we just waste time, 'cause either the teachers don't come in or they don't teach anything or they just waste our time with feeble stories about antique events that are irrelevant to us.

Also, I'm kinda having guilt trips for breaking up with my former boyfriend, 'cause my friends tell me he's just mopping around and been sad. And we weren't even that much long together, and it's kinda awkward now when I see him in school.. Well, at least I'll be leaving in the summer, so he won't have to see me any-more that much, though we hang out in the same group..

I'll just give up any kind of socializing, just go to school, stay in class during the breaks, go to my tutoring lessons, then home and that'll be it till middle of July. Any free time will be allocated for studying and maybe a movie or a tv-show. But inside my room, on my PC. I will turn off my phone. I will not visit facebook or any other online form of socializing. Of course all of this won't be 100% possible, but hey, at least I'll be trying.

On a happier note (I think), I've been thinking to buy a laptop for myself, since my birthday is coming up. I've set my eyes on an Asus K53SC-SX140D, and I'm literally in love with it. But I think I'm going to postpone buying it until I get into college because I don't want to feel tempted to skip studying to play video games on it xD